I decided I had to blog today. I just had to. Something compels me to express my thoughts. Talk. Expound. Offer free advice. Preach. Admonish. Tell you how wrong you are and how you should really do it. But I realise that when I do all that I could turn out to be this avoidable person. The kind we don’t want to stick around with. The one we avoid. The kind that makes us want to turn around and walk the other way.
But there is always the possibility that I may even look a lot like someone who actually has something to say. Something that may after all make sense. Something that may help you. Something that may surprise you for depth, beauty and wisdom.
Or I may simply resemble somebody who is lonely hasn’t talked to someone in a long time. Someone who needs to be listened to. Someone you can help perhaps. With a little bit of attention. A kind word maybe. Someone whose life may change just by your words.
I guess what I am trying to say is....I can be all of this sometimes or some of it in the least. We all can be. Our vulnerable moments make us....lonely, weak, and shallow boring. But our better days make us kind, loving, wise and helpful. Some God forsaken days make us proud, arrogant and full of condescendence. We can be all of this sometimes. Some of it most of the time, and none of it rarely.
It took me a while to be humbled by the fact that.....I may not be as good I think I am to somebody. It did disturb me for a while. The fact that I may seem ‘not’ good. It took some more while to accept what is really disturbing me, is not whether I am really good or not. But what I ‘seem’ to people.
It humbles me even more to understand that my ego is so clever that it fools me all the time. Blinds me from the it’s (the ego’s) existence within. It’s such a fine line. Don’t let the ego dupe you.
Be good. For it’s simply the best way to be.
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Everything that goes through my head is here.I need this space as much for myself as it is for anyone else who finds it useful.Need to clear my head you know. Thought this would be a cool place to download all those thoughts. So that i get enough space for new ones.
5 comments:
Long back in some distant village, there used to live a smart thief. He was an expert in the art of theft and always used to discover creative ways of stealing things.
The villagers finally complained to the king. The caring king promised that he’ll send the police chief to capture the thief very soon.
The policeman visited the village very next day. He had a clever plan to trap the burglar. He collected all the valuable things from the people, put it in a locker and slept in the same room. He assured the villagers that when the desperate thief tries to break the locker, he could be arrested easily.
The next day the village woke up to find that the police chief had fled with all the valuables.
He was none other than the thief himself!!!
You have rightly identified the games ego play. But have you noticed that it is the same ego that blames you for being egoistic?
It is the same phantom self that plays the role of Thief, Victim, Police, Prosecutor, Judge…. everything.
i know someone whose ego image stands right in front of him to tell him how he is performing.... ha ha ha ... sho...
Hmmmm
Avinash. Thankyou for making your presence felt.
the 'self' itself is 'ego'. It is divided into three i think. Ind ego, super ego, and one more....
We do not exist without the ego...it's how it plays with us, and how we either restrain or let it free that makes all the difference.
My blog too was born out of a deep compelling need to express what i felt.
Cheers and good luck.
Preeti
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