Thursday, January 15, 2009

Thank yous and Sorrys

Let me begin by saying that this post is dedicated to my friend who pushed me into blogging.
Now I go on to other facts. Is it always necessary to bother with nice-cities like thank you and sorry, with friends?
As the ode goes, friends are there for you, in good times and in bad times. A shoulder to cry on. Among friends there are no thank yous and sorrys. There are so many. If I start writing it all down, I might be guilty of plagiarising every card on Archie’s gallery shelves. It’s not that I think I am above these cards. How much ever I laugh at these cards, when I get one I do feel good about being acknowledged somehow.
Therefore I think to be thankful is one thing and to say thank you is another thing. Being thankful is a state of being. You can be thankful to a friend, situation, stranger perhaps even to God. Also you can live in a thankful state all your life. there is much beauty in that. But to actually say the words is a different ball game totally.
I was walking by the road the other day and a bull rushed towards me. I was caught in the space between the two horns and thankfully didn’t have the horn going right through my intestine with my innards hanging out from the other side. Who was I being thankful to here? To the bull?
I was just thankful for my fortunate situation and maybe even to my guardian angels and to God who appointed them....and to the saints who were praying for me....and the list could go on. Maybe even to the bull, whose intention was probably not to attack but to just scare me. And I could be thankful, that all it did was SCARE THE LIFE OUT OF ME!!! I did say ‘Thank God!’ more than once.
So the question is really do we have to say 'thank you' to our friends or just be thankful that they are there for you.
All of you who think we have to say the word do write a comment in my blog.

Now to what I think, after all this is my blog. I think, thank you is a word that has to be used more often. Something we often forget to use. It is just not used enough.
IT’s about two things. Firstly, you are aware that you are thankful, for better or worse. Secondly, you are humbled that it’s not just you who is responsible for this blissful state of realisation. Also that this state could not have been achieved if not for the other. (There seem to be more than two reasons) Thirdly, you are acknowledging the person’s goodness and admitting it to yourself. Fourthly, it is good manners, just like how you were taught in Kindergarten.

So back to the ode. Friends may say that they don’t want to be thanked. But that’s just another way of saying welcome. Please go ahead and thank people.
Now about saying the word ‘sorry’. Well! The above rule applies for that as well. Now do you want me to go over the whole thing again?
Oh! By the way I forgot. Thank you dear friend, for being my muse!!!
And sorry I took so long to say that.


Beautiful Life said...

"Being thankful is a state of being." I feel that the above words that you used reflects the essence. A state of having a thankful heart always/being thankful always makes everything informal and thankfulness is reflected and passed with/without words and also understood. It would always be a beauty to be in such a state. It is something simple, deep, and beautiful, something that could be found just looking around with a simple thankful heart.

Shalini George said...

Thank you Antony. That was a wonderful thought. YEs its so true. We could joyfully exist in a thankful state all our lives and it does trenscend the words. But to actually say it once in a while humbles us more than we realise....

bhavesh said...

I am not thankfull and really sorry for the bull !!! He missed it ......

Really a wonderfull thought shalini , Its true we do feel good when some one thanks you or says a sorry .

Once in a while it becomes necessary to complement and apologise in every relations ...

I am thankfull to god to have a wonderfull friend like you ....

Shalini George said...

Thank YOU to you Bhavesh. the pleasure is all mine.And friendship is a gift.

Preeti Shenoy said...

If yor friend has a blog please link that too--just a way of expressing appreciation :)

I do believe that'Thank you' and 'Sorry' are important not just in a friendship but in every relationship.I have a friend who thinks its not.He hates it when I thank him.But for me it is important to express my gratitude and so I do.
Otherwise I'm not saying one should keep saying thank you and sorry for everything--but if it has mattered to you, you should.

mikimbizi said...

That was a nice thought... and presented well.I've never given much thought to these simple gestures, but as 'beautiful life' has identified this is more than a mere gesture - its a state of being, of having a thankful, warm heart - to be able to see that lovcliness and depth of those tiny little passing joys. I dont think I've made it very clear...
oh well
It was a truely awesome idea!!
keep it up.

josh said...

Thank you :-)

Shalini, a few years back, when I was taught by someone the value of growing the sense of gratitude, and a little later when I tried, I thought I heard a 'click' inside me; as if something unlocked.

Ever since, I could never comprehend why people aren't discovering the power of this source of feeling within you, the power or powerlessness when you feel being thankful.

Oh, it melts, mends, blends, binds, builds, and suddenly, as if the evening light flooded you as you passed by the window, as if while you were attempting to lend your ears to a child's uncanny singing in the evening, you bumped onto a white angel. Or as if you suddenly met a leopard, which was surprisingly quiet towards you. You are glad to be alive and to be on its side.

Nothing releases you from your self like your sense of gratitude. Shalini, I thank Miki for letting me meet you through her orkut page.


Shalini George said...

Mikim dear. Thankyou so much for making your presence felt. YEs gratitude is a state.But when we utter the T releases us from something....

Shalini George said...

Josh i don't know what to say...I am honoured by your presence. And i happen to be a follower of your blog:Joshcafe. Shelton and don introduced me to your blog sometime back. Thankyou!

josh said...

Really? How small the world! Thank you for your kind words, Shalini and your interest in my blog. I should start writing there again, indeed.

Read some of your replies to the comments and there's this palpable presence of such a wonderful person, who's so serene and in love with the sublimest elements of life. May you prosper and may your kind multiply!

Stay in joy..

mikimbizi said...

Butterfly effect !! seriously ..and to think I'm part of that link hehehee
'there's this palpable presence of such a wonderful person, who's so serene and in love with the sublimest elements of life'
- thats the best way to describe u shalini :)